Asking for Help

October 3, 2012

I’m sitting in my office right now taking a break from making a birthday cake for Cooper. I’m having a really small get together for his birthday tonight and I’m feeling a tad bit stressed. But then I started thinking…. I should just ask for help. What a concept!  It’s not that I don’t want help; I just never know what to ask of people because I am always planning on doing things myself. It never occurs to me that I can farm things out and use people as resources. I just don’t operate that way.

So, I’m going to take charge and ask for help today. I’m thinking of all of the things that need to be done and I am going to give some of my family members jobs. And to think I would have done this ALL MYSELF.  No wonder it’s hard to relax and enjoy a party!

My mom is coming over early and I am going to have her wrap presents and set the table. My dad will help me wipe off the table on our deck, put out the wine glasses & decant wine. My husband will help me straighten up the house and put the dishes away and possibly  clean up the bathroom. We’ll see. Now that I know what I want help with, it should be easier to ask!

Suddenly I don’t feel as stressed out.


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15 comments on “Asking for Help

  1. Katie Oct 3, 2012

    I need a daily reminder to ask for help! Why is it the hardest thing ever?? 21 peeps up in my casa for T-givs this year, can you repost this then?

  2. Every night when I cook supper, my fiance always asks what he can help with and most of the time I tell him it’s all good, go watch TV or something. But every once in awile when I try a new recipe or I have multiple pots going on the stove and something cooking in the oven and I’m trying to to do everything at once, I step back and tell myself it’s OK to ask for help, if I do it all myself somethings is going to burn! It takes a lot to ask for help but in the end I always appreciate it and wish I would of asked sooner!

  3. Where do you create your little designs/fonts??

  4. Kathy Rittler Oct 3, 2012

    I am so grateful that I need to make a list and then share the “need to get done” stuff.

  5. Christin Oct 3, 2012

    So funny reading this, I just explained to my 12 year old daughter that the two most important things you can learn is to admit when you’re wrong and to ask for help when you need it. I believe, especially us mothers, we feel like we can do it all or we are failing if we can’t. My advice is to put down your ego, know you limits and surround yourself with people who can sometimes see we need help, even when we can’t ask:). Thanks for sharing your story!!!

  6. Bonus points and gold stars for you! Asking for help is so hard sometimes, isn’t it?!? Thanks for the reminder that it’s okay to do and we should :)

  7. I don’t ask cuz I don’t want any back talk – “You WANT ME to do THAT NOW?” So I just get a wee bit bitchy AND JUST DO IT MYSELF! But I’m impressed with your help asking skills! Seriously.

    • Tracy Oct 3, 2012

      How come no one ever does anything RIGHT NOW? Just do it RIGHT NOW and I won’t get mad.

  8. Melanie G Oct 6, 2012

    Wow, great reminder! I’m not good at this, either. I think for me it does often come down to feeling easier to just do it myself rather than explain and then nag someone else! But asking for help is definitely a skill I need to improve 😉

  9. It’s a tough one to get your head around, I should know, I’m THE worst person for asking for help, it just doesn’t happen! I hate putting people out! However, one of the best exercises to start is to say yes. When someone offers to get your luggage out the car, say yes. If they offer to help with the dishes, say yes. Pick you up instead of having to walk, say yes. My instant answer is usually no, “I’m fine!” and battle on wondering why life is so stressful and I’ve so much on my plate. Saying yes to the little things, even if you don’t need the help, just to get your head around the fact you can accept it, and know it’s there when you really need it. Get me?

  10. Wow! The title of this post reminded me of my mother, who passed away over 10 years ago. She always told us kids “You don’t ask. You don’t get.” That always stuck with me. My 30 something year old daughters used to love that saying when they were young, as they would remind me when asking for something. Thanks for the fond memories. I find it hard to ask for help, as well. Now that I’m in my in my mid 50s I just cannot do what I used to do in the same amount of time I used to it. So, you just as well get used to asking for help now, because as you get older, you will definitely need to.

    Love your blog!

    • Tracy Jan 22, 2013

      Thank you for that! You also reminded me that I need to be aware that my parents don’t necessarily WANT to have to ask me to do something. They just need to. :)

      • Yes. It’s hard to come to grips with age, and our decline in our physical abilities, as well memory, learning, etc. It just really hit me recently. It never hurts to ask a parent, “Is anything I can do for you to help?” Some people have huge “help” buttons on accepting help. Others do not. I feel great when my daughters offer their help, even if I decline. They’re 30 and 32 now.

        Take care!

      • There’s nothing like hearing my daughters, now 30 and 32, ask if they can help me, whether I decline or not. :-)

    • Tracy,

      I tried to reply to your comment below, but received an error. The next time the page just stopped loading, therefore, I’m replying here.

      There’s nothing like hearing my daughters, now 30 and 32, ask if they can help me, whether I decline or not. :-)

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