Hello, friends!  Thanks for tuning into another action-packed Joy the Baker Podcast! This week we’re tackling more hard-hitting modern etiquette issues.  We’re talking about RSVPing, visiting houses with a ‘no shoe policy’, and text messaging dos and don’ts.

This podcast is sponsored by MINTED!  It’s the last week for an awesome deal with them!  $25 off + free shipping on orders $150 and over. You can see the change now: www.minted.com/joythebaker


Have you made a Minted card?  Joy’s are going for full drool effect.

photo1jtb podcast 75

Tracy went for the specialty fonts and adorable child!


jtb podcast 75

Dip your toe in RUM waters with a Dark & Stormy.

Speaking of RUM! Try this ZAYA Rum. It’s fantastic.

jtb podcast 75

Citrus & Vodka HEAVEN with this Juice of a Few Flowers!

You might also try fancy Luxardo cherries.  Dreams!

jtb podcast 75

 This is how Tracy works out!  With technology and a sassy haircut.  Joy goes for situps and dumbbells.

Thanks for listening!  We love you sincerely!

Leave a Reply

34 comments on “Your Shoe Game

  1. Hey Tracy! No worries, I have short hair too (boy short) and it is so worth all the high maintenance-ness (hair product every day, cuts every 6-8 weeks, wax, gel, make sure you are sleeping right so it doesn’t stick up the next morning..)! The other week at a party, someone told me I look like “a hot lesbian”, so I knew, tots worth it! (I’m guessing that means I look bad-ass-cute…. I can deal with that) Anyway, I know it looks awesome on you too, and don’t worry about your supercuts-cut… I have been there.. Anyway, I can see it looking very katie-holmes-ish on you! You should post a picture!

  2. oh, boy. so many things! (great podcast. obv.–you guys rock!)

    1. MANY years ago I went to a supercuts while traveling & got the WORST haircut of my life. Like a BAD Farrah Fawcett layered thing that took basically a YEAR to grow out completely. NEVER AGAIN.

    2. MY first bad experience w/alcohol was w/rum, like Joy. Still never drink it. Permanent-ew.

    3. Etiquette: this really is a small etiquette thing that’s rapidly disappearing, but I value it. Saying other people’s names before your own, like “Yesterday, Joe, Betty, and I went to …”

    More and more often now I hear “I and X and Y” or “Myself and X and Y” (bonus: latter is not grammatically correct). I just appreciate listing the other people first, to subtly indicate that they are important, and that you are not the center of the universe. Like an old fashioned, verbal tip of the hat. I think it’s sweet. =)

    4. Isshoes: That fuzzy-guest-socks basket idea is SO GREAT, I want to do it, even though I do not require shoe removal. And Joy’s term for those socks “walkin’ around yo’ house socks” made me laugh so loud I startled the cats. =)


  3. So funny that you ladies chatted about RSVP-ing! I hosted a cookie exchange party (invited via eVite), and just planned for appetizers as though the individuals who hadn’t responded were coming. Those friends came– which was fine, I had hoped they would come– but then four of those eight friends brought their spouses AND kids, and didn’t bring any cookies to the exchange. So not only did we run out of food, but we ran out of a bunch of the cookies, too. And then their kids terrorized my poor dog, who wouldn’t come out of her crate. So, Red flag– showing up with no RSVP with an entourage.

  4. Tracy, I have totally rocked the peep-toe/two nails polished situation. No shame!

  5. Tracy! I’m a short-haired lady as well. My salon will do a neck trim so there is no mullet action going on. It is basically the equivalent of a bang trim (I had to convince them to do this by the way). You should find out if your salon already offers this service, and if not, tell them what you’re thinking and offer to pay $10-$15… it’s worked for me so far!

  6. Carrie Dec 6, 2012

    Question.Would you be able to change the link situation so that when I person clicks on the link it opens a new window for that website? Right now it’s set up so that when I click on a link, it uses the same window and I exit your site. Often times I click on a link while I’m listening to the podcast and the podcast shuts off because I’m leaving your website. Now that I think about it…Maybe this is a setting I need to change on my computer. Not sure. Anyway. Love your show! Take care.

    • Hah, I’ve done the same thing many times and just have to laugh at myself for forgetting. I’m not sure if this works for all browsers, but if you hold down CTRL while clicking it should open the link in a new tab.

  7. Krystina O. Dec 6, 2012

    Joy & Tracy!

    Thank you for answering my question about cocktails! Not gonna lie – totally blushed a bit and started smiling awkwardly/uncontrollably when I heard you answer my question. Oi vey! Just know, you two are so loved by me and I’m incredibly grateful to have your guys’ voices in my life. Thanks for hookin’ me up with some great ideas!

    Can’t wait for the next podcast – and can’t wait to see Joy in Boston this Sunday! A friend and I will be hittin’ up that crazy-good holiday market and I’m pretty sure I’ll be giving you {joy} a bear hug. Brace yo’self.

    Happiest Christmas to you two! <3

  8. Ok, regarding shoes. We ask people to take their shoes off only because my son is still a crawler. I don’t want his hands to be all up in dog poo remnants because his hands inevitably end up in his mouth!

  9. Merideth Dec 6, 2012

    Hey ladies!!! An international view on removing shoes: I’m Canadian, and up here it’s pretty much expected that you remove your shoes in people’s houses People take off their shoes in their own house, and especially take them off when they go in someone else’s house. Sometimes you might leave your shoes on for a large party, but that’s about it. I’m not sure why it’s different, but it is in every house I know! :)

    Thanks for the entertaining podcasts!

    • Emily Dec 11, 2012

      Same here – I’m from Vermont and Maine, and lived in Newfoundland for a while. It’s usually not a problem because we’re all wearing thick wool socks anyway – the smartest people bring their own slippers along. I think the main difference is all the sand, salt, and snow outside – shoes get too messy to bring inside.

  10. Amanda B Dec 6, 2012

    I second what habbala said… when you have babies who are crawling around and putting everything in their mouths is is pretty nasty thinking about when other people are dragging into your house on the bottom of their shoes. I grew up in Canada and you take your shoes off in EVERYBODY’S house… not even exaggerating… someone would think its very rude if you kept your shoes on in their home… its a cultural thing I guess.. since moving to America I have noticed that its an individual thing weather you take them off or leave them on and at first I thought it was really rude and was offended by it but Im getting used to it. I dont mind if people leave their shoes on when they are just stopping in for a quick visit or if I am having a party with a bunch of people but if someone is coming over for dinner and we are hanging out I also want them to be comfortable in my home so I like to have them take their shoes off. Also the carpet thing too… it would be one thing if we had tile or hardwood but with the carpets its just kinda gross. Anyways, thats just my opinion :)

  11. Michelle Dec 6, 2012

    As another Canadian I agree you always, always, always take your shoes off in someone else’s home unless they stop you and tell you to leave them on. You at least offer to take them off. I had no idea it was a cultural thing. You really wouldn’t want someone wearing his or her snow boots into your house!!

  12. Shoes on or off in the house is a very cultural thing. In just about every place we’ve lived outside the U.S., it’s expected that you take off your shoes. In Turkey and Kosovo (though it’s also the case in tons of other countries), people have guest house shoes/slippers for people by the front door. We love this idea so much that it drives us batty to have shoes on inside. Our kids take them off immediately, too. I wrote a post eons ago about this, and it’s still popular (funny how that happens).

  13. Tracy, your hairdresser…. is nuts. I’m so angry with her! But ah, she lost a customer there. hmph! And on cyber invites, ah… if they were sincere, they would call or write a REAL invite. That’s what I think. I’d say to simplify RSVPs for email invites, just put a footnote in the email to only reply via email.

    As for shoes off/on, in Asia where I live, you MUST take your shoes off before walking in the house. Because shoes are considered dirty and offensive in a private space. It’s a very cultural thing. I personally don’t want to remove mine when at a party because I mean, it’s a hassle, isn’t it? Yet, if it’s my house, I would hate having to clean grit from the floor. It’s my house. :-)

  14. I would like you both to know that I openly gasped/jaw dropped, so many times during this episode. As the daughter of a hairdresser I am mortified by your experience Tracy. I don’t know what I would have done! I two have been in the double digits my entire life. So power to us! Joy I am headed to Eat Boutique in Boston this weekend. Can’t wait to see you in person and tell you how wonderful you are! Lots of love ladies!

  15. Elizabeth Dec 7, 2012

    I grew up in an Asian household where it is common for guests and inhabitants to remove their shoes and leave them at the door. At the very least, we provided guest slippers for the guests so their bare or socked feet wouldn’t have to touch the floor.

  16. So much fun to listen to! I’ve heard every podcast, and am finally leaving a comment for the first time, shame shame. I ran to a Great Clips really quick this summer, and ended up leaving with my hair wet, it was so awful. The guy wasn’t wearing an apron, and he had a couple bandaids on his hand with no gloves. Then, the clip and comb he used on me had been laying on his counter which had many different colors of hair clippings on it. I felt so bad, but I did not want him cutting my hair, so I just said, I’m so sorry, I’m just not feeling comfortable here and got up and left. It was a little awkward, but I had to go.

    Another really important RSVP etiquette tip: When you RSVP yes to a wedding, you should actually go! I had twelve people say they were coming to my wedding but they didn’t, and we had to pay for their meals anyway. Also, regarding weddings, I googled this a lot, but what do you think about guests not bringing gifts? I tried not to judge our guests that didn’t bring gifts, but I actually thought it was pretty rude. We even had two newlywed couples come, and we had got them big, awesome gifts for their wedding (one was a year-long coffee club prescription that cost me $144!), and neither of the newlywed couples had sent thank-you cards for our wedding gifts to them, nor did they bring gifts to us. It’s quite surprising, and I do think it’s rude. :(

    • I agree about the rudeness of not sending a thank you note, especially for wedding gifts. It took me an embarrassingly long time to send all of mine out, (handwritten, in the mail, whole 9 yards) but I still did it. I also agree with you on the importance of sending/bringing a gift, however small it may be. It’s not just about giving “stuff” to the new couple, but a way of expressing love and support for them! :)

  17. I laughed so hard I almost spit kale smoothie all over my car. Y’all are the best!

  18. Oh dear. I was really surprised by your strong negative feelings about facebook event invitations. My friends and I always send out event invitations through facebook for summer barbecues, Christmas parties, and whatnot. I only get paper invitations for things like baby and bridal showers and weddings. When I received a paper invitation in the mail for a housewarming party a couple years ago, I was actually surprised and thought it was a bit overboard. I usually throw a barbecue in the summer, and it’s frustrating that not everyone RSVPs. It sounds like maybe I should be sending actual paper invitations in the mail. Thanks for the different perspective!

    • Tracy Dec 7, 2012

      I can only speak for myself here- but I don’t really use my personal Facebook account that much. I am really only on Facebook because of my website, so things can easily get lost in the shuffle. I also know a bunch of people who have accounts and NEVER go on, so adding them to an invite would be futile. Facebook changes their configuration on a daily basis, so it’s not always easy to see what I’ve been invited to!

  19. Joy and Tracy, I got such a big kick out of hearing my friend and I’s message on this podcast. :-) We decided to do it on a whim while we were hanging out and of course, we wrote down what we would say so it wouldn’t dissolve into incoherent babble.
    As for the soup. it wasn’t from either of y’all but from a magazine that will not be named. I don’t know if it was the ingredients or the pureeing or the very unappetizing shade of rusty brown that it turned, but our stomachs said no thank you. (At that point, after 4 years of cooking together it was our first true disaster. Those aren’t bad odds.) I have never cooked/baked a bad thing from either of you! Keep having fun with your show because we love it.

  20. love the shoes on/off debate (i’m canadian, they always come off), and instantly remembered the sex and the city episode where carrie is forced to remove her shoes at a baby shower, and they’re stolen. no big deal except they’re $500 manolos, which prompts a bigger discussion regarding how single women never get any gifts but are constantly paying for gifts for their married friends (engagement, wedding, baby showers, kid’s birthdays, etc). could be an interesting discussion for the pod.

  21. Ok, so, you can’t really see our cards in this picture, but its because I got way too much a kick out of the fact that they person who packaged my cards has the same name as my husband.
    I asked him if he wanted to reuse the sticker on a Christmas present.


  22. Lizzie Dec 9, 2012

    Tracy, your group-text voice made me laugh out loud. HAHAHA!

  23. Oh Tracey, I feel your hair dresser pain. I generally only go once a year because I rarely find a hair dresser that doesn’t make me feel like shit in the process of making my hair look better. They criticize how I look after my hair (or don’t look after my hair) and then try to sell me lots of products that will SAVE me from hair-shame. They end the cut saying things like “oh you look so much better now, when you walked in I was wondering what I was going to do to improve your situation, it looked AWFUL, but it’s much better now.” I have often left the hair dresser and gone around the corner to have a cry. I never understand the people that go to hair dressers as an indulgence, I think it’s closer to torture.

  24. Emily Dec 11, 2012

    So I maybe was listening to your podcast at the gym – Joy you helped me remember that I should be doing some pushups while there, so thanks for that! I JUST joined a gym and it is pretty ridiculous with a TV on every cardio machine… but I found a pretty great motivator. Miracle was on, specifically at the “again… again… again…” sprinting scene, which pretty much forced me to bike as hard as possible.
    And hey Sophie, I think you need to find a new hair dresser, no need to stick to the mean ones!

  25. Emily D. Dec 11, 2012

    Only painting the visible toes when wearing peep-toe shoes is real life.

  26. Alisha B Dec 11, 2012

    Holy cow did my jaw drop a couple of times in this episode. First I would have lost my mind if someone cut my scalp during a haircut. I feel for you Tracy.
    Also, as for invites to events, I have a rule to NEVER invite people who regularly no show or fail to RSVP, it saves me so much time and headache. At first I felt a bit bad that some people’s feelings were injured but really if they don’t care enough I’m not wasting the paper.

  27. Jessica Jan 5, 2013

    Shoes off definitely! I don’t want you making a mess of my floor! The only time I break this rule is if I’m having a dress up party and ladies are going to be wearing & showing off their cute shoes (and if it’s winter wearing tights…being barefoot in tights is bad).

    Group texts are only ok if everyone in the group knows each other! If I get them, I don’t group respond, I at least have the courtesy to respond only to the sender. The iPhone really needs a reply and reply all function for group texts!

    I sat by a person on a plane that was clipping their nails! So gross!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  28. shelly Jan 6, 2013

    We take our shoes off because we are in Canada, the snow and salt would wreck the hard wood. I do however have a basket by the front door that has all types of slippers that are for guests to wear if they choose.

  29. I am team no shoes. I have carpets in my house and I don’t excuse my language want do crap on my carpets.

займ на карту
%d bloggers like this: